Little Satori Psychotherapy

Are You Friends

With Your Brain?

09/15/2026 ・ 5mins read

By Julia Tomoyasu Silveira, LCSW

Honestly, if you asked me that, it would be a hard question to answer.

I love to overthink. I can easily intellectualize a topic and go down a spiral of academic rumination. The problem is, I often do the exact same thing with my emotions - analyzing them to death until I just feel completely lost.

Once a spiral starts, it is incredibly hard to stop.

Our brains are immensely complicated, and most of the time, it’s hard to know what’s really going on in there. But recently, I’ve been leaning into a concept called the “noticing brain.” I came across it through Dr. Janina Fisher's work on healing trauma, as well as Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)’s “observing self,” which focuses on reducing self-judgment.

In neuroscience, it’s hard to pinpoint exactly which single neural pathway controls which state. But in my clinical work with clients, we use the observing, noticing brain to build a gentler relationship with ourselves.

What Happens When You Start Noticing?

The noticing brain buys us time. It allows us to get curious about heavy, uncomfortable emotions - like anger, frustration, jealousy, and resentment - instead of immediately judging ourselves for having them.

When we catch our mind starting to spiral and simply switch into “observer mode,” something curious happens: we begin to listen to ourselves with a gentler, more open mind.

󠁯It creates distance. Suddenly, we have space to take a breath. It shifts reaction into response. We can make thoughtful choices instead of acting on impulse. And it builds self-compassion. We stop beating ourselves up, and we can accept our emotions as they are without immediately trying to fix them.

There is profound freedom in just observing.

It creates the space to make decisions a little slower, with less eagerness to speak out of anger or fix everything right away.

Practice Pausing

We can practice activating the noticing brain in very simple, everyday ways:

  • When you look at a flower, how long can you stare at it and simply observe its intricate details without trying to analyze it.

  • When you watch a tennis match, how much can you just enjoy the rhythmic flow of the ball going back and forth, completely present in the game.

  • When you are hot-headed in an argument:

    • How often can you notice your partner or friend asking for love and support in a slightly clumsy way? We might not like their reaction, and that’s okay - but can you see the love and tenderness they are trying to get? 

    • Can you notice their underlying need to feel heard and understood? Can you notice your needs and desires too?

    • Ultimately, you might also be able to notice how you are not noticing?

There are so many quiet discoveries waiting for us if we just step out of the spiral, pause, and observe.

Are you willing to try being a friend to your brain today?